Thoughts and all the feels
2015-08-31 at 2:40 p.m.

Feeling a little sad today. It's catching up to me.

Our oldest is starting preschool this week. It's here. The process of school supply shopping has come and gone, items labelled and packed just waiting to be brought to school.

She's so grown and so little at the same time. Sometimes we forget that she is only 4. She's amazing and frustrating all in one. She pushes us, tests us and does all the things you would probably expect from a typical 4 year old. She's so smart, observant, curious, adventurous, talkative (so, so talkative), caring, funny, sweet.. She's ready for school structure, the routine, the teachers and the friends she's about to make.

I just don't know how ready I am for this big step. It feels like fear of losing that sweetness that is she. She will hear things (as kids do) from other kids, such as language and she will see bullying (it happens, even in young ones) even though she won't understand what it is or means. And I wonder if we haven't prepared her well enough. Maybe it's foolish to think this way.

And our baby. She's 1, and every day gets bigger, smarter, stronger, and more independent. She's showed us from the start that she is her own person, she will let everyone know when she disagrees with something, and she is determined. I feared she would need me less when I returned to work. She doesn't need me less, she does wonderful when I'm working, and needs me just the same when I get home. Because I'm her mom. But one day, in the blink of an eye, after all the rocking chair nursing is done, the sitting by her bedside as se falls asleep, will be just a memory. And she will be off to preschool.

Life really is something to marvel at. And I can't help but feel sad when it hits me just how quickly time has passed.

Babies are not babies for long.

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