Every time I see a newborn baby all my insides turn into ooey gooey lovey dovey mush, and I feel myself wanting to reach out and take the baby in my arms and snuggle him for eternity. Then I remember that is crazy lady territory and what I actually do is smile like a huge goof and tell the parents what I know they've heard a thousand times: your baby is precious.
It's not the same feeling as before I had S, before her I had a longing that is difficult to explain, a yearning. Now, when I see babies I get all mushy and sentimental and miss the days when S was that small, that dependent. But there's something else, too. Something inside me clicks into place and I feel ready to have another baby. To give S a sibling. To expand our family.
Here I am:
30 years old. Married mother of a two year old girl. My body is telling me that it's ready, my internal clock is ticking and dropping mad hints at me every time I see a baby, or when Sophie looks down my shirt and says "aw, a beebee sleeping".
We need to do so much to the house before we decide to start "trying" to get pregnant. Buying a fixer upper was a great idea a year ago, but when we sit back and look at the things we've done in the house, it has been a slow work in progress. I know that it'll come, and that it is already much more winter proof than it was last year..but I wish it was baby ready, now.
relive - a new